Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
