I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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