I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I want her autograph on my taint
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
