I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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