Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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