can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
