I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
