So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
