i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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