I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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