Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
