I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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