thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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