Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
