Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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