So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize