I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
