I just pynch a tree in the face
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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