I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
