it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
