Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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