omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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