Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
