You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
