haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
