Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
