so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
