i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize