In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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