Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
