i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
