the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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