The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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