if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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