My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
