today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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