when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
