k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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