I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
