Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
