If that was your dad, he is hot
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
