with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
