The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
