My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
