So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My feet surprised me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
