I think I just saw someone hide a body.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
