Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize