found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
