Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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