Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
