Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
