You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
