Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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