im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
