Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
