They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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