know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
