i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
